The "Girl" Friend Breakup.........
When something happens and you no longer get along with or want to be as close as you once were with a friend or a family member or what have you.... How do you get you stuff back???
Even though its not with a boyfriend it's not much different from a breakup. Do you just let it go and deem the things they have that you lent them a loss, never to be seen again and replace the ones you still need? Because that could get pricey...... But then confronting them and asking them for your stuff could make for a fight or dare I say, "obsessing stress", you know where you can't stop thinking about what happened and what was said and if it was all just in your head and did you stand up for yourself like you believe, or again dare I say, was it all just created "Drama"?? I guess you go with what you feel is true and what you know in your heart. But you still have items invested in that relationship that the other one has, and you would like to have back!! So what's the best way to get them back? Or should you just forget it??
And what if before the relationship went sour, you had mentioned, several times, that you needed a particular item you had let them barrow back. And it was never returned and now the relationship is sour or no longer exist..... What's the social etiquette on such things? Should you really be out of a relationship and your things and even money, just for the sake of not wanting to create any more drama???
Its hard enough ending a friendship or family tie, especially one that's been there for years..... Should you continue to add to the angst and stress? It makes me wonder......
Are breakups with a boyfriend less complicated and stressful than breakups with a friend??
I can personally say that I stress more about things said and things done with my "girlfriends" then I ever have with a boyfriend, or now my husband. Is that just because we're women and ***GASP*** more emotional and dramatic especially with each other??
So the bottom line question here? How do you or should you..... Get your stuff back?
Even though its not with a boyfriend it's not much different from a breakup. Do you just let it go and deem the things they have that you lent them a loss, never to be seen again and replace the ones you still need? Because that could get pricey...... But then confronting them and asking them for your stuff could make for a fight or dare I say, "obsessing stress", you know where you can't stop thinking about what happened and what was said and if it was all just in your head and did you stand up for yourself like you believe, or again dare I say, was it all just created "Drama"?? I guess you go with what you feel is true and what you know in your heart. But you still have items invested in that relationship that the other one has, and you would like to have back!! So what's the best way to get them back? Or should you just forget it??
And what if before the relationship went sour, you had mentioned, several times, that you needed a particular item you had let them barrow back. And it was never returned and now the relationship is sour or no longer exist..... What's the social etiquette on such things? Should you really be out of a relationship and your things and even money, just for the sake of not wanting to create any more drama???
Its hard enough ending a friendship or family tie, especially one that's been there for years..... Should you continue to add to the angst and stress? It makes me wonder......
Are breakups with a boyfriend less complicated and stressful than breakups with a friend??
I can personally say that I stress more about things said and things done with my "girlfriends" then I ever have with a boyfriend, or now my husband. Is that just because we're women and ***GASP*** more emotional and dramatic especially with each other??
So the bottom line question here? How do you or should you..... Get your stuff back?
posted by Kate Michele at 2:08 PM
6 Comments:
Of course you SHOULD be given your stuff back BUT women are more vendictive than men...so you probably won't. Perhaps you can appeal to her sensative side and maybe she will...but maybe she won't. There are no guidelines for this sort of thing, unfortunatly.
Common decency would suggest the return of anything she borrowed but that is in a perfect world. Do you have anything of her's that you could trade up?
I had a great friendship with a guy go sour and we were roomates. I never got my deposit back and he owed me lots of money. I just had to suck it up and move forward.
I wish there were easy answers but there are too many variables to consider.
I say ask for it back, but if it's something you can live without and you've not had it-you might never ever get it back so be prepaired for that. It's harder when you lose a friend then losing a boyfriend if you ask me. It's worse losing the girl who cuts your hair too. That sucks!
Whatever is happening that has you questioning this-I'm sorry and I hope it gets worked out sooner than later. Those things can be such an emotional drain.
Trojan: I'm sorry you lost so much when your friendship went sour.... Its hard isn't it? In a perfect world like you said people would be decent!!! Unfortunetly I don't have anything of theirs...Guess i may fust have to suck it up.
Kimmyk: Thanks for the advice!! I have a feeling I'm gonna just have to be out of my stuff.... Losing the girl that cuts your hair is the WORST!!
Good Luck with that.
It was SO the drama with the white trash neighbor here in Oz a few months back.
All I wanted was my stamp back.
And it turned into a big ol', "FINE! Here is EVERYthing you EVER gave me!!" fiasco.
I never did get my box of 200 Downey dryer sheets back.
The bitch.
;)
glo-girl: LOL I so do not get why people are like that! If they have your stuff even if the relationship hasn't gone sour, you still have the right to ask for it back cause you need it....
and WWIII shouldn't have to start!!
Would it be safe to ask her to leave it on her porch/in a mailbox/etc. so you don't have to run the risk of added drama?
I totally feel your pain...I'm currently in a similar situation with a korean friend. And I can't just replace the stuff...it's from the states!!
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