Making Decisions 101...
Decisions. I hate them, and for the most part most of them are “Damned if you do, damned if you don’t” type decisions. So how do you work your way through those? If only we could see the future and know the outcome to both ways of the decision and then be able to pick the one whose outcome we like better. Sound good? Yeah we need to work on that ability.
I also wonder why someone like me who hates decisions, seems to always be handed them. Like giving someone who’s terrified of snakes a bed full of snakes every week.
The last few weeks everything has been clouded by one huge decision. I can’t sleep; it’s all I ever think about through out the day, wishing I knew the right thing to do, wishing I could see into the future.
I wish I could say it was something funny like boy cut shorts or bikinis, or lip-gloss or lip balm. But I can’t, because it’s not. This decision affects two lives. So I’ll lay it out, nothing left to do but lay it out.
As you all know my boys have an immune deficiency. Their doctors all feel that undergoing IGIV treatments are the best thing for them. However in the end its my decision and now that the ball is finally rolling with the insurance company and the spot is now open is the center, I’m starting to freak out.
We have been giving the side effects of the IGIV, and we’ve also been given what can happen if they don’t go through them. I won’t sugar coat here, they didn’t for me, so then you can see the decision that’s making me ill.
IGIV has a risk of kidney failure, rejection leading to death. Though rare it’s still there. It is a blood product. Fevers, chills, trouble breathing all can be side effects. Weigh that against not doing the IGIV, their doctor’s say if they develop pneumonia from an infection they say they’d give them a 20% chance of survival…That’s an 80% chance a dying. Well and with out the IGIV the seclusion would have to continue obviously.
Like I said I hate decisions. And this one by far has been the worst. Like playing Russian Rulet. Which one will be the safest? I don’t want to do something to prevent a deadly illness and in turn create more problems, but I don’t not want to do the treatment and then they get sick and not survive… As mentioned above the ability to see the impact of each decision would be great about now.
Fucking decisions!!
I also wonder why someone like me who hates decisions, seems to always be handed them. Like giving someone who’s terrified of snakes a bed full of snakes every week.
The last few weeks everything has been clouded by one huge decision. I can’t sleep; it’s all I ever think about through out the day, wishing I knew the right thing to do, wishing I could see into the future.
I wish I could say it was something funny like boy cut shorts or bikinis, or lip-gloss or lip balm. But I can’t, because it’s not. This decision affects two lives. So I’ll lay it out, nothing left to do but lay it out.
As you all know my boys have an immune deficiency. Their doctors all feel that undergoing IGIV treatments are the best thing for them. However in the end its my decision and now that the ball is finally rolling with the insurance company and the spot is now open is the center, I’m starting to freak out.
We have been giving the side effects of the IGIV, and we’ve also been given what can happen if they don’t go through them. I won’t sugar coat here, they didn’t for me, so then you can see the decision that’s making me ill.
IGIV has a risk of kidney failure, rejection leading to death. Though rare it’s still there. It is a blood product. Fevers, chills, trouble breathing all can be side effects. Weigh that against not doing the IGIV, their doctor’s say if they develop pneumonia from an infection they say they’d give them a 20% chance of survival…That’s an 80% chance a dying. Well and with out the IGIV the seclusion would have to continue obviously.
Like I said I hate decisions. And this one by far has been the worst. Like playing Russian Rulet. Which one will be the safest? I don’t want to do something to prevent a deadly illness and in turn create more problems, but I don’t not want to do the treatment and then they get sick and not survive… As mentioned above the ability to see the impact of each decision would be great about now.
Fucking decisions!!
posted by Kate Michele at 6:04 PM
7 Comments:
Oh Katie. This is a hard one. I think you only really have one choice. But I am not their momma and I don't have to live with the choice, only you and Chad can decide what is best for them.
I can keep you in my thoughts and prayers [as I do daily] and hope that GOD gives you and your family the strength to move forward.
i know that if you listen VERY carefully, there is a little voice that speaks to you. it will tell you what to do. if you really want my opinion, i'll give it to you... but obviously it's ultimitely up to you and chad to decide.
i think you should go through with it. i think the possiblities outweigh the negativities (and yes, i chose the word possibilities on purpose. i know there is no way of knowing the complete outcome, so there are POSSIBILITIES of good things to come).
i also have you in my thoughts and prayers daily and pray for you to do what is right and that God will let you know what is right. i know those boys are tough (hey, they ARE your kids!).
good luck with your decision. i hope and pray for the best. i love you all.
Definately not easy decisions to make. Just now in your mind that whatever decision you make, and its eventual outcome, you are making for the best future for your kids.
I'm not here to give advice, this falls way out of my limited range of knowledge. I can only wish you the best in making your choice....and let you know that i'm here should you need to talk.
((hug))
This is a hard decision. I would think of the pros and cons. You would see which one is the least life threatening and go for it. Keeping the boys thoughts positive throughout the whole thing will also yield positive results in them and you.
Oh honey, I'm so sorry you and your family have to go through this. No one can make this decision for you, but I know you'll do what you feel best for your lovely boys.
In medical circles, when they say "rare" chance, they really do mean rare. Like really, really tiny and small. It seems to me getting a bad cold or the flu is a much higher chance. I'm just thinking out loud here, so use your best judgement and listen to your heart.
I am terribly sorry that your childrens health is not as well as you would hope Kate Michele. Nothing but faith is going to get you through that and well, you must have it. I truly hope that whatever decisions are made that all works out as you would like.
Best wishes.
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