A Little Rant...If You Will.
This is about my right. My right to wear clothes that fit without getting crude comments while waiting in line at Walmart, or as YSB so frighteningly describe it, Hellmart, or walking through the mall.
Me in my jeans… They fit, they’re not baggy… They fit.
Most common remarks:
“Daamn girl, You wearin’ them jeans!!”
“MMMM----MMMM”
So then I hear from others that I need to be careful, Ummm… Excuse me?? I should be able to wear whatever the hell I want, and that by no means gives anyone the right to say those things or worse “take advantage”.
I know that’s not how the world is…But it’s wrong. If a woman wants to wear a freakin’ bikini out, I wouldn’t but just say, she should be able to without the worry that they’ll say,
“She was asking for it.”!!!
I digress.
Me in my jeans… They fit, they’re not baggy… They fit.
Most common remarks:
“Daamn girl, You wearin’ them jeans!!”
“MMMM----MMMM”
So then I hear from others that I need to be careful, Ummm… Excuse me?? I should be able to wear whatever the hell I want, and that by no means gives anyone the right to say those things or worse “take advantage”.
I know that’s not how the world is…But it’s wrong. If a woman wants to wear a freakin’ bikini out, I wouldn’t but just say, she should be able to without the worry that they’ll say,
“She was asking for it.”!!!
I digress.
posted by Kate Michele at 2:03 PM
14 Comments:
yes, you should be able to wear what you want - or nothing at all if you so choose to. and yes, sadly, you have to be careful. and it also shouldn't be, that in the time it took me to write this, 3 women will have been raped. did you happen to see this post? http://always-a-musing.blogspot.com/2006/12/wtf-ive-got-your-terrorism.html
even sadder, to many, women are simply nothing more than objects "that are asking for it" -- no matter what that "it" is - to be oogled, talked to crudely, beaten, attacked... and if show any sort of level of simply not just smiling along, then you become a whole other slew of things. i got this all the time in the bar when guests would try and slap my ass or whatnot. it's completely jacked.
i don't know how to fix this. i wish i did. :(
I hear you girl. I've got a big butt and a big chest and if I wear anything that fits correctly, I get the same attitude.
And society wonders why women have body issues. Sheesh!
You just wear what you are comfortable in. I'm sure you looked wonderful!
amen sister!
One of the ways to help stop it is to do what Kate did - speak out against it. Most people who make comments like that aren't rapists, they're just assholes who have been allowed to get away with their behavior because no one's ever called them on it.
Next time someone says mmm mmm... ask them loudly if they have a stuttering problem...
I hate stupid people.
Hell, I encourage wearing the bikini out.
I am kinda old and have been out of the scene for a while. But I do have a 12 year old daughter. That being said, it seems that the way we dress these days is a kind of cultural dialog (in my day it was New Wave and Goth among other things). And the way we dress may mean different things to different people, depending on culture, upbringing and education.
work it girl! *snaps*
So, riddle me this.
Why is it that a woman could wear a bikini (or any other appropriate two-piece swimsuit) to the beach and it's fine...
...But if she chose to go there in a bra and panties, she would probably be arrested.
Especially, given the fact that the bra and panties may cover more than the swimsuit.
But I digress.
I used to get shit like that thrown at me....for some reason it's stopped pretty much. I am not complaining.
Go for you for being vocal..NEVER be a victim.
I know I'm against the grain in thought so maybe someone can straighten this out for me.
You're a victim if you get complimented on your appearance?
The "wearin them jeans" and "better be careful" comments were unwarranted and absolutely lacking in tact. I totally agree. But what if a dude came up to you and said "excuse me Mam, but you really look nice today." Would you still feel as threatened and offended?
I mean, your post right below this one has 11 comments of people telling you you look awesome, and you accepted the comment from Chad's buddy Carl about having a "black girls body that could dance" as a compliment. It seemed that you accepted a lot of compliments on your dress as well.
So I guess what I'm wondering is where is the line drawn?
At the christmas party you seemed to be wanting those sorts of comments, on this blog at different times you seemed to have wanted these type comments.
You look good Kate, people are going to continue to tell you this.
My 2 cents,
-buzz
Buzz: It's all in the way and tone that it is said. If it were said like your example "mame you look nice" I would be fine with that. It's when there's hand gesters and licking of the lips and grunting ALONG with the comments that I take as being offensive. It becomes threating to me then.
Being the nice gut that you are, it would never cross your mind to do those things...but it does other guys. There's a difference between sincere compliments and crude comments.
Correction on a typo: "gut" above was to be "guy"
Thank You
wow those sounded like intelligent remarks.
"you wearin them jeans."
??!!
as opposed to eating them?
okaaaaay.
Post a Comment
<< Home