Don’t move your chairs away now, this train wreck just keeps on wreckin’.
Me: I really need to talk about this… I feel it’s all on my shoulders and I’m scared. What if they reject?
Chad: What ever happens happens you deal with it then, you can’t panic about it now.
Me: See that’s what I mean, I feel I’m alone in this cause you won’t give me your opinion on rather to do the IGIV or not… You brush off every conversation I have about it with that answer, which really isn’t one, Meanwhile I’m going through panic attacks every day over it and physically I’m shutting down!!
Chad: I’m sorry, you want to hear what I think, you might not like what I have to say…
Me: No I want to go ahead…
Chad: [deep breath] I’d rather them die from undergoing a treatment to try and give them the ability to live life, than see them die in these four walls in this house in a bubble, never having experienced life. With out this treatment they can’t do that. They need to experience things, other than these walls and us. [Leaves room]
Me: [calling after him] Thank You. That’s what I needed to hear. You’re right, we need to do what has the best chance of giving them that.
Their first treatment will be January 18th. A week from today. It’s real. It’s happening.
Chad: What ever happens happens you deal with it then, you can’t panic about it now.
Me: See that’s what I mean, I feel I’m alone in this cause you won’t give me your opinion on rather to do the IGIV or not… You brush off every conversation I have about it with that answer, which really isn’t one, Meanwhile I’m going through panic attacks every day over it and physically I’m shutting down!!
Chad: I’m sorry, you want to hear what I think, you might not like what I have to say…
Me: No I want to go ahead…
Chad: [deep breath] I’d rather them die from undergoing a treatment to try and give them the ability to live life, than see them die in these four walls in this house in a bubble, never having experienced life. With out this treatment they can’t do that. They need to experience things, other than these walls and us. [Leaves room]
Me: [calling after him] Thank You. That’s what I needed to hear. You’re right, we need to do what has the best chance of giving them that.
Their first treatment will be January 18th. A week from today. It’s real. It’s happening.
posted by Kate Michele at 2:12 PM
10 Comments:
I'm glad you were able to talk about this and now you can stand together as you take the next step.
You've got a whole lot of people sending prayers for those little angels! Small comfort, but we're all rooting for them and for you :)
Hang in there, Katie~!
I hope everything goes well for you and the boys!
Such a difficult decision to make. And you know it's the right one because it's SO dang hard.
Best wishes to you and your family.
I know whatever the decision is, it'll be the right one.
You guys are great parents and do the best for your kids. I am sending my best wishes your way.
It is good you are both agreed on a course of action
Sometimes its good to just hear another important voice in the matter. It's hard to take on that responsibility alone. Even though you were not alone it might have felt that way. I'm sure you both are very scared but this is where you both put on that brave mom and dad face and suck it up and tell your boys it's all going to be ok and it's not going to hurt and how you'll both be there. Because as parents we do what we gotta do to get our kids through the tough spots.
As far as you both go-I'm sure there are going to be moments of screaming and arguing and I'm sure it will be out of fear and saddness and worry and all that combined into one big lump of blah. I will offer you this advice dear one-take a breath and listen to each other. You're a family and you're going to need each other during these days that are so hard. Especially when Chad leaves and you're left at home in those 4 walls trying to convice two little guys that life is not as bad as it may seem at the moment. And know if you ever need to vent and rant and scream and say bad words-I'm a phone call away and a two hour drive.
Love to you both.
Doens't it feel good to have someone talk to you about this? I know when I have had hard things in the past, even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear, just having someone to bounce it off of helped me.
You guys are doing the right thing and it will be okay.
Being a mom and dad is in my opinion the hardest job there is. I have some experence in this field. Remember Katie, mom and I went through many sleepless nights about your illness. Trust your doctors, and your gut. I think it's the right thing, the only thing other than keeping then in until they are 5 or 6 (don't seem like a good option to me). There are risk, but read your asprin bottle, and you will porbally never take an asprin again. Our children are the greatest blessing in our lives (that includes you four), I'm for the treatments, move forward, always keep the wind in your face, never look back. Love Dad
(be like me - I never worry)
I love that your dad commented. How cool is he??? You are blessed dear Katie.
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