There She Hides Beneath The Crisp Sheets...
Do you have feelings that you just can't explain?
You know, just know that even if you try every one will take it the wrong way.
That you're being stuck in a corner suffocating by all the conflicting feelings.
Your minds telling you one thing...You're feeling another.
Among all this is the guilt...The guilt for feeling what you're feeling....Oh the guilt the all consuming guilt.
But that only fuels all the feelings...It doesn't stop them.
Talk about them...I could...Only to have them turned around on me...No thanks.
I'll be 25 in 17 days.
What's it all about...What have I accomplished...
It's slipping away... Oh so quickly and quietly....
Can you see it?
Look in the mirror.
I don't recognize her.
You know, just know that even if you try every one will take it the wrong way.
That you're being stuck in a corner suffocating by all the conflicting feelings.
Your minds telling you one thing...You're feeling another.
Among all this is the guilt...The guilt for feeling what you're feeling....Oh the guilt the all consuming guilt.
But that only fuels all the feelings...It doesn't stop them.
Talk about them...I could...Only to have them turned around on me...No thanks.
I'll be 25 in 17 days.
What's it all about...What have I accomplished...
It's slipping away... Oh so quickly and quietly....
Can you see it?
Look in the mirror.
I don't recognize her.
posted by Kate Michele at 7:06 PM
8 Comments:
i see her.
she's beautiful and accomplished and loving and kind and generous.
she's a mother and a sister and a daughter and a wife and a friend and a blogger and a kindred to many.
she's wonderful.
she's kate.
Except for the turning 25, I could have written this.
You put into words the things that run through my head constantly.
I know that you are so much more than a mom (which as such, you are remarkable and loving - you've mentioned that b4 and I know what you mean), you are a beautiful, smart, funny, caring and strong (yes, strong) woman.
I'm here if you need me.
xoxo
I remember thinking this way when I was in my 20's. I'm not a big fan of country music, but I remember hearing Reba's "Is There Life Out There" and although, some I didn't recognize, a lot of it spoke to me. So I went back to school...
Is there life out there
So much she hasnt done
Is there life beyond
Her family and her home
Shes done what she should
Should she do what she dares
She doesnt want to leave
Shes just wonderin
Is there life out there
Shes always lived for tomorrow
Shes never learned how
To live for today
Shes dyin to try something foolish
Do something crazy
Or just get away
Something for herself for a change
Ooops. I almost forgot...*scatterbrained*
Seems you've been struggling with that too, so maybe once the kids get through this sickness they're in, and spring is underway maybe look into going back to school in the summer or fall and take one class and see if that's what you're wanting to do.
I think we all reflect once in a while in our lives. 25 Kate? Good lord that seems like a lifetime ago for me. In a month I'll turn 40. 40!!?!! I still feel like I'm in my 20's. Talk about a reality check.
What is it that you see when you look in the mirror? It wasn't long ago that you loved who was looking back at you. What changed? I think you have the winter blues.
You need to come see me....
I wish there was a way to get people to stop feeling guilt. It consumes vast amounts of energy, and when you're through, nothing has changed.
At least you're young enough to be reflecting on your accomplishments and having lots of time ahead. Imagine doing it at 49. Egad.
I don't recognize myself from when I was your age. We change in slow increments. Perhaps you just noticed one.
You are growing and changing, becoming a strong woman who deals with many obstacles at once. A woman who is a mother and lover and a poet.....
Perhaps you perception of yourself has changed drastically....that can happen, but know that we, your friends, see you in beautiful positive light.
Sounds like you need a little encouragement! 30 was tough for me, but it came and went and I'm OK. You will be, too!
You seem to be a stronger person than most people your age. When I look in the mirror and I'm faced with the question of what have I done in life to be grateful for, I just remember that I could be like I was years ago, and then I laugh and spit the tootpaste out my mouth.
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