To Be Heard.........

I’m starting to realize why those women that bug me the ones that can only talk about their children and define themselves by them once they have them, do so. People respect and expect you to, anything else throws them off.

Its one of the things that bugged me about my sister in law, but now in light of recent happenings I think I understand why she was that way. It was the only why she would be heard. People listen or at least pretend to listen when your talking about the kids, but start saying other things that you are interested in and they tune out. Makes me wander if I’ve had it wrong all along.

Was I supposed to morph into the sole role of mother and lose myself when I had kids? I’m starting to get from people that there are things a “mother” shouldn’t say or be in they’re opinion. But at what point does being whom everyone wants you to be to make them happy make you unhealthy and unhappy? If you can never express yourself and talk about certain things, than your just stifling who you are, and won’t that eventually just serve to make you crazier?

Chad and I had a falling out with his sister a while back, he told them not to call us and we were not to call them. And basically it was all over the other not feeling as though they were being heard.

Being heard is a funny thing. We all want to be heard but few of us want to listen especially if it’s not what we want to hear. She was worried about her son who had been through two surgeries and was still getting ear infections, and called one morning to talk about it. The timing was bad in that we had just heard from the Doctors that the boys were headed toward needing blood infusions and the risk of rejection and death were there, but with them getting sick and constantly needed antibiotics cause their immune systems weren’t there they’re life was at risk too. So either way we had a lot on our minds. I thought since the day before at moms we told them the boys had their appointment that’s why she was calling so early in the morning to see how they were, but she was calling to talk cause she was worried about her son, and so I listened. Later she called to say the dr said if he doesn’t stop getting ear infections they would check his immune system and maybe I would know what all that meant. It angered me cause had she given me the chance to be heard, she would know that that’s just the thing treating our sons’ life. Chad told me to call and express this, and that was that. Basically we both just wanted to be heard and the timing on not being heard was BAD.

But maybe she’s so use to not being heard about anything cause people are always to wrapped up in the kids and don’t hear what your saying, that she learned to talk about it and not let others say anything, cause what they have to say might make you question who you are. And maybe she got tired of that. And this is how she learned to combat that. I’m not sure I’m making any sense here but I know what I’m trying to say!! Hehehe.

So I guess my point is that we all want to be heard and in the rush of wanting that we don’t always know we’re hurting others. And the mothers out there that want to hold on to themselves while being a mother, have a long hard fight ahead of them!! But bring it on...Cause I'm ready!!!