The "Used Up" Experiment........
A few months ago Chad and I ventured out into the wilderness know to many as The Mall. The boys hate going in the actual stores so I run in and look at what I want to look at and Chad pushes the boys around in their stroller. It was during this activity that I became aware of something and have since expanded on the theory.
I noticed that while pushing the stroller with the cutest babies in the world in it, Chad got lots of “checkouts” from the ladies. This “accessory” of his made him all the MORE attractive and desirable…… While on the other side, when I push the stroller, nada…. Nothing… I’m used up goods, a mother. It seems it makes me LESS attractive. This was all very interesting to me. Though understandable, as a woman I must say that yes seeing a man with a baby or babies, does give him that extra special something. But may I ask why it doesn’t work with women??
Expanding on my so-called knowledge I did an experiment. On Thursdays my parents take the boys out for dinner and adventure time with grandma and grandpa. I use those few hours to get errands done; I take my mother’s car since they have to take the van for the car seats. Enter my experiment….
In my car, a mom mobile minivan, I receive no looks no nods nothing. BUT on Thursdays in my mothers silver Camery…. Hello single days!! You all know as to what I speak, guys aren’t the most discrete gender when looking at a lady! You know the whole half nod upward with the half grin, when you’re stopped at a red light. So it brings the question gentlemen, is it the girl or the car she’s in?? I’d also like to point out for the record that the van bares no difference to the ladies when it comes to Chad driving it.
Conclusion: Men with babies = Hot Hot Hot…
Women with babies = Used up goods.
A semi answer was given by a buddy of mine. He said that men assume that a woman with babies is taken. To witch I replied, “Well who do you think their taken by? The babies father??” He informed me that while yes that is sometimes the case, but a lot of times they’re not with the mother anymore, and by taken he means taken by the children.
First of all: That is profiling the male gender. “And profiling is wrong”. I’d venture to say most men are good loving husbands/partners.
And second: So what? Now were used up goods with baggage??
I noticed that while pushing the stroller with the cutest babies in the world in it, Chad got lots of “checkouts” from the ladies. This “accessory” of his made him all the MORE attractive and desirable…… While on the other side, when I push the stroller, nada…. Nothing… I’m used up goods, a mother. It seems it makes me LESS attractive. This was all very interesting to me. Though understandable, as a woman I must say that yes seeing a man with a baby or babies, does give him that extra special something. But may I ask why it doesn’t work with women??
Expanding on my so-called knowledge I did an experiment. On Thursdays my parents take the boys out for dinner and adventure time with grandma and grandpa. I use those few hours to get errands done; I take my mother’s car since they have to take the van for the car seats. Enter my experiment….
In my car, a mom mobile minivan, I receive no looks no nods nothing. BUT on Thursdays in my mothers silver Camery…. Hello single days!! You all know as to what I speak, guys aren’t the most discrete gender when looking at a lady! You know the whole half nod upward with the half grin, when you’re stopped at a red light. So it brings the question gentlemen, is it the girl or the car she’s in?? I’d also like to point out for the record that the van bares no difference to the ladies when it comes to Chad driving it.
Conclusion: Men with babies = Hot Hot Hot…
Women with babies = Used up goods.
A semi answer was given by a buddy of mine. He said that men assume that a woman with babies is taken. To witch I replied, “Well who do you think their taken by? The babies father??” He informed me that while yes that is sometimes the case, but a lot of times they’re not with the mother anymore, and by taken he means taken by the children.
First of all: That is profiling the male gender. “And profiling is wrong”. I’d venture to say most men are good loving husbands/partners.
And second: So what? Now were used up goods with baggage??
posted by Kate Michele at 10:07 AM
15 Comments:
It may not sound so great but used up goods with baggage is just how we are viewed. Not to mention that if a man has a baby then nothing about him changes. If a woman has a baby everything on her body changes and not all for the good. I think that is in the back of the mind of me also. They don't mind it if the body changes when it is there baby but for the woman to come already that way is another story. It is a harsh world out there for the mom's and especially for the single mom's.
yikes....those are harsh words indeed. Why is it such a double standard? Ahhh yeah..because men can't birth babies...fuckers.
I sometimes assume that a woman with child/children is either already in a primary relationship or interested in finding a potential provider. Not really interested in me. I know, cynical, but I generally have no problems with MILFs.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hmmm, MILFs. I like MILFs, and you already know they put out.
I couldn't agree more.
Rafael, you dork-just cause we have babies doesn't mean we're gonna drop panties. Your comment made me laugh though.
I don't understand why men who tote a kid get attention like that. Dogs too. If a guy has a dog? Shiit. I'm done. I'm all ooglin' him. I also think guys who have custody of their kids are so much sexier than a guy who has no children. Why do I think like that?
It's a mans world and this just proves it on a different level.
In response to Kimmy:
You're attracted to guys like that becuase in your mind you know that the guy can procreate, and that he's a provider. And when it comes down to it that's what you ladies are REALLY looking for. When you shave off all the superficial stuff like looks and sense of humor, ladies want to know our sperm count and our bank account. Harsh perhaps, but true.
It's not a bad thing to feel that way, it helps most ladies trim off all the wrong prospects for lifetime commitment. Call it a survival instinct.
When I was single there was nothing better than taking my Husky to the lake, got tons of attention. But the dude's flying solo with one of their kids got much more.
As for my opinion about women with kids:
A man (a smart one without his head up his ass) knows that when a woman has kids he's never going to be #1 in her life. Simple basic fact. Her kids are #1 and he's just there to fulfill the role as both father figure and provider. Sure, she might think you're the the cats meow, but she's really only checking to see if you can be what she needs for her kids. If you're just an on the side booty call she won't let you within 100 feet of her kids. Once a woman becomes a Mom, it's all about the kids, as it should be.
Even booty calls are in the long run for the kids. She's sexually frustrated, perhaps a little grumpy with the kids, needs to get laid, calls you up, handles the business, everyone wins.
It's not that it's a bad thing, it's just the way things are, especially when there are kids involved.
As for the minivan:
Grocery getter all the way, even though those things are chock full of cool shit nowadays. Surround sound, DVD, onboard computers, MP3 plug-ins, fold down seats, moon roofs, both side doors open automatically, etc.
Still a grocery getter, though. The MUV, mommy utility vehicle. I'm not knocking it in the least though. Every time a group of us goes out we take my buddies MUV. Put in a cool movie and it's awesome. Plus you know nobody is going to fuck with an MUV when the parking lot is full of Beemers and Mercedes's...
-buzz
I think you hit the nail on the head. When I was pregnant with my first, I went from lots of oogles, flirts, etc. to nothing...NADA...from the moment I started "showing". Or once they looked down at my belly, it was run away as fast as possible. And I always wore my wedding ring before, so it wasn't just b/c I was married.
And forget it if you go anywhere with the kids or in the minivan. And I guess I'm getting a few looks now when I am by myself, but now I'm 37 and used up goods in a whole other way.
I have to admit to being influenced by the vehicle. A woman in a pick-up truck is "driving her husband's vehicle" and a mini-van is a family van. After all, what would I, a single man, need a mini-van for?
As for the babies, that too has been a trap. When I see a woman pushing a stroller, I assume she is married. Old fashioned, perhaps, but.... I don't think it would be proper to pursue someone who may not wish to be pursued. Conversation or flirting, however is another matter.
I also find that most single women with children are very defensive about having children and letting me know they do. Once, I met a woman and after introducing myself she said, "I have 5 kids." Before saying her name! At this stage in my life, I would expect any woman I met to have children, so the fact that they do does not influence me one way or the other.
Men, however, probably look good pushing a stroller. It shows a committment to family, and a willingness to help raise the family. Psychologically it is a positive, whereas with women it is expected.
BTW, these are not necessarily the viewpoints of Anthony or the management ... merely the way society works. :)
I just love the way you think!
It doesn't seem fair - does it??
If I ever received female attention when I was with my daughter, I've never noticed. I tend to be oblivious to anyone else at those times. Now that she is 12 and almost as tall as me, probably too late. Damn.
Oh sweetie, You have me ROFLMAO over here.
Welcome to "The Mommies" club.
You are right, men with babies are looked over more often than ladies with babies are. That irks me just as much as women who look over a guy even after noticing he HAS A WEDDING RING ON!! Taken=HOT.
Yeah, just watch me punch a gal in the throat for looking at my man twice for too long.
If I see a woman that I find attractive without kids then I will approach her. If she had a twin and her twin had kids then my attraction to her drops to being almost uninterested only because I see children and assume she is already taken so I just don't approach her or give her "the look".
My brother would always take my sister to the mall with him to pick up girls. It didn't work for me because my sister and I do not have a giant age gap like he did with her.
Tonight, I called an over-40 bartender a "Babe" and she questioned my judgement.
"Can I really be a babe?" she asked.
"Of course," I said "It doesn't have anything to do with age."
I hope I made her night.
Na anthony... You just made her feel old.
Get with it man!
You could have said:
"of course! Your eyes have been knocking me over all night!"
or
"of course! Your smile just settles me into contentment!"
Reminding her that she's 40 is no way to make her feel good about herself dude.
-buzz
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